I live in a magic garden my mum made on a dinner tray in her front room on Christmas Day. Nurse!

Fairies found at Highbury, apparently.

Scary me. Blog 101.

The happy family. And tiny knitted sheep.

Broken ashtray.

Happy Morrissey Setlist.

Listening to Hurt by Johnny Cash. At 9am.

Prince Charles' Secret Chinese Journal. "Apparently".

The house of Jeffrey Archer.

E.R. goes wireless. After 5 fucking hours.

Fake Guantanamo Bay letter. Spelt wrong. Dead giveaway.

Police hand over the cash found after £53 million is stolen.

Yoghurt. Why is it always yoghurt?

The French begin to vaccinate against bird flu. On our kitchen table.

An egg prepares for bird flu.

Flowers.

Christmas 2005. Kids nicked off t'internet. Sorry, didn't have any real ones handy.

Breakfast.